What The Absolute Fuck Is Going On With The Injuries?!?

Sure, every team has injuries but why does it seem like Da Bears are facing one of the weirdest injury situations out of all the training camps?

BEARS RANTS

Fergi

8/11/20263 min read

The Rollercoaster Of Injuries Never Stops

The injuries for this team have been absolutely relentless. Every Bears notification or every time you look up Bears news it is always something regarding an injury. This blog goes through the recent noteable injury related news and what to think about each one.

Kyler Gordon (CB)

I never know what to think with this man. When he is on the field, he is an absolute menace. Whether he is blitzing from deep to dropping in coverage he always seems to be near the play bringing a spark of energy to the defense. The problem is this man can never stay healthy. He is currently on an "unknown" return status with an ongoing calf injury. Bears staff have been very mysterious and vague regarding this injury, and I think it is all because no one knows anything. I don't think they are being purposefully vague I just think they genuinely have absolutely no idea. This injury is putting a huge question mark on his spot on the team in years to come.

Ozzy Trapilo (OT)

The answer to all of our prayers last year towards the end of the season. After years of getting the left tackle wrong, we finally seem to have made the right draft decision and selected a good rookie LT just for him to get injured (Like a fucking Hero) at the end of the season. The Beast from the East went down with a patellar/knee injury that did not look good whatsoever, but now we are hearing news that he could be back this season and even better yet, he could be back by the end of training camp?!?!?!?! This is music to all Bears fans ears as hopefully we get this monster of a human back on the line to protect our star QB.

Zavion Thomas (WR)

This rookie speedster looked like he was going to be Ben Johnsons Tyreek Hill and guess what? He probably still will. Zavion Thomas left training camp after colliding in a 7-on-7 scrimmage. He looks like he will be day-to-day with a slight knee soreness but should be back to help this offense before no time.

Luther Burden (WR)

Darth Burden was one of the key pieces in the success of last year's offense. This absolute stud of a WR was geared to lay it on the NFL and really terrorize defenses this season which is why when he went down in training camp almost all Bears fans died on the spot. Getting the notification that our boy Darth Burden, went down in practice was a showstopper. I had to force myself to try and wake up from this nightmare. Luckily, the news that followed was a bit better. Nothing has been confirmed but it does seem like he has a slight groin injury that will just sideline him for training camp and he should be back to being the absolute menace that he is, come week 1.

Coby Bryant (S)

Now the one that you all actually came here for. I am sorry but I wish I had better news. After initially hearing that our biggest offseason move got injured during training camp all hopes for this defense to shine seemed lost. Just when our hopes reached the lowest point with this injury, we were raised from despair by the news that this would be an injury that he should be able to come back for week 4 of the regular season. It seemed like we dodged a bullet. Cookies 'n Cream were back baby! Nothing can stop our safety Duo of Coby Bryant and Dillon Thieneman. Then, just as quickly as our hopes were raised our hopes came crashing back down into the pits of defense hell. Bryant will be undergoing surgery to fix a hyperextended left knee, bone bruise and a small fracture. Typically, a second opinion offers better news, but this doctor was just a fucking dick. With this news we will be losing Bryant for the next 4-6 months making his return time either in the playoffs or later. Hopefully he will be ready for the Superbowl.

Overall, this team is facing a series of injury rollercoasters but forward and onward we go. Just for the love of God please get us a better strength and conditioning team or better doctors or whatever the fuck we need to do to not become the 49ers of injuries. Holy Shit!